What no one sees — and what it costs
There’s the work you do that everyone recognises.
The job. The parenting. The household tasks.
And then there’s the work no one sees.
The birthdays remembered. The emails followed up. The groceries that run low before anyone notices.
The thinking ahead. The managing of moods. The keeping everyone connected.
This is invisible work.
And it’s exhausting.
It’s not just physical labour
Invisible work isn’t about the task list.
It’s about the thinking, planning, and emotionally holding that happens in the background — every day.
It sounds like:
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“I’ll make sure that gets booked.”
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“She seemed off — I’ll check in.”
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“We need to sort out Christmas plans soon.”
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“I’ll be the one to smooth that tension over.”
It’s the sense of being the family’s PA, social planner, peacekeeper, and default problem-solver — often all at once.
Why it’s hard to talk about
It’s hard to name this work when it’s rarely acknowledged.
It feels petty to bring it up.
Or ungrateful.
Or like something you should just be able to handle.
But this labour has weight.
And when it’s never seen, it starts to wear you down.
Not just physically — but emotionally. Quietly. Over time.
You’re not imagining it
If you feel resentful or depleted, that doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.
It means you’re doing more than people realise — and you haven’t had space to name it.
Therapy can help.
Not by offering another strategy to get through it — but by creating room to understand your limits, your needs, and the patterns that make this load feel like yours alone to carry.
You don’t need to carry it all without being seen.
If this kind of invisible labour sounds familiar, I’d love to help you find clarity and support.